Hello, hello, hello.. and welcome to a new lifestyle segment of my blog.
I write so many reviews on products but rarely share things about myself ( other than bits and bats about mental health) so I thought why not share a bit more about me.
On 16th October I turn 30 .. and I will have been single for 9 years. I have dated on and off when I was at University, but nothing ever stuck, nobody ever felt like m “Mr right” and I don’t know whether that was because of me or them if I am honest.
I am not very picky when it comes to looks, obviously there has to be some attraction there but I have met so many men.. or should I say boys.. when I was at University and from going out on nights out in the town I live in that I really do wonder if there are any guys out there with any personality. I know I sound harsh but it really does feel that way sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong, I know there are so many women out there who are exactly the same, and some men will be in the same position as me wondering the same things but i can honestly only speak from my perspective.
My relationships have not ever ended well, which automatically puts me on the defensive around men in general, I hate that it does but I cannot help it. My first ever relationship ended because he got physical and the men I dated after ended up cheating. Somebody once told me it was my fault because I lacked confidence in myself, and to be honest, for a long time I believed that but as I thought about it more I came to realise that there really is NO EXCUSE to cheat on someone. If you do not want to be in a relationship just don’t be with that person, end it.
I am a very strange person. I come across as very outgoing and loud and if I am honest, at times I can be very annoyingly loud but when I like someone or meet someone on a night out that I like etc I don’t speak to them or just go really quiet. Face to face communication and social situations freak me out! I actually tend not to go out very much if I can help it because just being out in public, in general makes me feel so uncomfortable.
With that being said I thought maybe trying a few dating sites may be a good idea, as I wasn’t going to meet someone any other way.
I have tried dating sites before. The first one being Plenty of Fish..
Now, I know quite a few people who have found long lasting relationships on this dating site and I was so optimistic when I started but that slowly changed. I don’t know what planet these men are from that messaged me on there, or how desperate they thought I was but i quickly deleted my profile and the app because 99% of the guys on there were just creeps asking for nudes, or guys asking me to marry them because they thought I was so beautiful. Both were creepy for different reasons and definitely not the kind of men I wanted to meet up with.
I then tried Meet Me
This was less of a dating site but was advertised more as a site “Where new friends meet” so I was hoping that I would receive less cringeworthy messages and could potentially meet some nice people.
I started talking to a few different guys on here, one of which I became friends with and we still talk from time to time but nothing romantic ever came of that, which , to be honest I am happy with because we just would not have worked as a couple. As I am a bigger girl and I am always honest about that, that inevitably put some of the other men off me and they just stopped talking, which I expected! The rest…. again.. just creepy AF and I ended up just deleting it after a few months.
Finally I tried Tinder..
Now when this first came out I had no idea what to expect. Again I started talking to a few local lads, met for drinks, nothing ever came of it because when we met we either didn’t click, there was zero conversation as we had nothing in common, or they were again put off by my size. I genuinely was just tired of the whole disastrous situation and deleted Tinder as well.
I have not been on any dating sites for 2-3 years now and I have made no effort to meet up with or get with any guys. I really am not looking for a quick “hook-up” or “a bit of fun” , which is basically what all the message asked me that I used to get. Call me old fashioned, call me a prude, I really don’t care. I am in no way stuck up or up myself but I do believe I deserve better than that and I definitely want more than that.
So.. I am 30 in less than a week and I do wonder if I will be eternally single, but if I am honest. I would rather be as I am now than just have a casual thing because that just doesn’t interest me. If I cannot find a man who doesn’t feel that I am worth being in a relationship with why would I want to waste my time on them? I know it seems to be “the thing” now but I have never really seen the point.
I guess the one thing that saves me from going crazy and turning in to a lonely old recluse is my amazing family and my best friend who I see regularly. They stop me from turning in to a hermit!!
Don’t get me wrong, I do miss the companionship of a relationship and I am not shading or judging anybody who does enjoy having casual relationships it just isn’t for me..
The big question now is.. Where do I go from here? Will it be even harder to find love as I get older?
What do you guys think? Are you a “casual dating” kind of person?
Do you think dating sites are worth the time and effort?
Have you had a successful experience using a dating site?
Do you think people are more superficial nowadays? Has social media taken over face to face dating as well? Am I too old fir this stuff now?
Sound off in the comments. Let me know your thoughts
Until next time. As always. Be Kind Be Happy and Stay True to You!